As I am sitting here writing this last blog post of 2019, I am in awe at how far I have come in this decade. Honestly, even in the last few months of this almost expired year, life has taken me in, and has given me lessons that I never thought could be taught to me. For these lessons I feel blessed, because no matter how many times I had to try and fail, I still tried. And child, don’t even get me started on the L’s. No amount of losses that I THOUGHT I took could ever compare to each lesson I learned that will mold and shape my future. That in itself has made me all the more grateful.
At the start of this year, I had everything that I thought was making me happy. Ya’ll know… the usual things like money, fast friends, etc. If you guys have any older spiritual influences in your life like I do (Hey Saints!), then you will have heard the expression, “The devil comes dressed as everything you’ve ever wanted.” And sure enough, he did. My personal demons at the start of this year had me in such a dark place. I was feeding off of my own false happiness because at the time, it ‘looked’ like what I thought I was missing. And then I was self-diagnosed with a spiritual food poisoning. I was sick to say the least. Here’s a lesson for you, kids: Happiness fades, but joy is forever. The happiness that I had become to know and love so well, would often be tampered with by those things and people who were responsible for giving it to me in the first place! My faith was tested so many times, and in full honesty, it also wavered. But believe me when I say that throughout the rest of the year, I became to be the prodigal daughter. Faith can be renewed!
At the beginning of 2019, I think I was ashamed to be my true self. I would shut down my own ideas before giving them the slightest chance to flourish, and all because I was fearful! Comparison is truly the thief of joy. Here’s a news flash for you friends; do whatever feels right to you and makes you happy. You will never truly live your own life if you are living to meet the expectations of others. Shall I go on with even more content for this topic?
I had the degree. I had the job that was paying me more than enough, and yet I was miserable. I took a leap of faith to find a job that would better suit my education. I am not even ashamed to say that I recently quit that job too, because I have never been happier! I was super afraid to be unemployed, but I think I was even more afraid to hear the opinions about me, a college graduate with no job. And then I realized that I was the author of my own life, and decided that my joy was worth far more than the opinions of others.
I started this blog while at my last place of employment, and it gave me the freedom I had been missing for so long. Although media and writing has been a silent passion of mine, it is now coming out loud and clear, love. Being able to build my own platforms that allow me to do whatever I feel represents me the most was my biggest aha moment of this past decade. I am literally doing what I LOVE. I had a professor in college who had a lecture about life. Topic: “You can literally do whatever the fuck you want. Literally.” It was a cool lecture back then, but it’s really hitting hard right now. After expounding on my first passion, which is writing, I began hosting my podcast. It is currently streaming on Anchor, Spotify, and Apple Podcasts. I am also now moving into music management, but I will have to keep those details for later on in 2020.
Growing up, myself and others alike were always force-fed this asinine idea that showing the slightest bit of personality on Al Gore’s internet would ban you from making any type of living. I wish that whoever stumbles upon this article can somehow imagine me rolling my eyes at this point. In the latter part of this decade, as well as the future moving forward, so many people made a name for themselves by just truly being who they are. Who knew that sharing your personality with complete strangers on the internet could possibly make you a millionaire? Well now I am claiming that next spot!
Each obstacle in 2019 that was overcome, has now become my blueprint for 2020. I have learned to speak life over any situation, whether good or bad.
In lieu of me sharing my own manifestations with you all, maybe this blog post will inspire someone to do what they have feared for so long. Every person in life will go through some type of hard time, or experience some type of struggle. The differences in each of us will determine whether we will go through it, or grow through it. I encourage you to grow! Make every day of this new year and new decade be everything YOU need it to be.
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