Who Ate All the Red Velvet?

This week I appear to be seamlessly taking L’s. I mean L’s across the board, y’all. Are you wondering which one hit me the hardest? This is kind of an emotional time in my life, so I feel your understanding and patience from wherever you are in the world, and I appreciate you. Y’all… Publix is SOLD OUT of their Premium Red Velvet Cake ice cream.

Via Twitter

I know, I know. Third world problems, right? WRONG! I channel every fiber of Drake’s whole being when I say, I’m upset. Seriously. Please don’t judge me, y’all. It’s just really that good. So good in fact, that last night I went to the four closest Publix stores near my house. (That last statement was made with absolutely no shame.) Let’s retract for a moment. I think I need to explain how this whole thing happened.

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